Happy Birthday, Sweet Boy

My sweet boy, you're four years old today! I can't believe I'm saying that already. I would be lying if I said it didn't make me a little sad that you're growing up so fast. 

I was looking at pictures the other day. When you were so tiny and new. When you were so fresh from heaven and I didn't know how in the world I ever lived without you, I still don't. I think I forget how little you are sometimes. Too often I expect you to be "big". I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry that I don't realize that you're still learning or that you are such a little boy still. You just seem so much older than you are! I hear it all the time. People are always amazed when I tell them how old you are. I love that. I love watching you think. I love watching you work through problems or discovering new ways of doing things. I love the way your eyes light up when you come to a realization. You amaze me every single day. You are amazing Finn.

I dream sometimes, of the amazing man you'll become one day. I want you to know that you can do anything in this world you want to do. Anything. And you will. You changed my life in an instant, I can't wait to see the many others you'll change! 

As much as I wish time would slow down, I am also excited. Exactatic really. You're 4 years old today. That means that you've been mine for 4 years. I've been blessed to see you're sweet face, to know your voice, to be you're blessed mama for four years. Do you have any idea how insanely lucky I am? To be your mom is the best feeling in the world!

There is so much I want to say to you, but mostly I want to thank you my sweet baby. Thank you for everything that you are. Thank you for the laughter and love that fills our home. Thank you for the early mornings and the late nights. Thank you for your squeeze hugs and the many "I love you"s that I'm blessed to hear. Thank you for loving so deeply. Thank you for constantly showing me what this life is truly about. Thank you for the immesurable, terrifying, hilarious, powerful, precious blessing of being YOUR mama. Thank you for being mine. 

Happy Birthday Sweet Boy. 

I love you, Always. 

Love Mama

Happy Birthday Poppy Gene!

My sweet Poppy girl, I can't believe that we're here already. You are a year old today. How is that possible? One year ago I saw your beautiful face for the first time. One year ago I fell in love again in an instant. 

We waited a very long time for you, sweet girl. I prayed for you. I prayed so hard for you every single day. And month after month when you weren't there I cried. I cried and prayed for you for a year and a half and then one day you were there and I cried and prayed even harder. 

It's funny to me now, how you've always done things on your own time. You came to us a week early, when no one was expecting it. You came so quickly and so suddenly, we could hardly believe our luck. You were so intensely perfect! Your daddy was the first one to hold you and I remember that moment so clearly. You were with us for a matter of seconds but you already fit so well into his arms, into our family that it was amazing to me how we ever lived without you. 

My precious girl, you are so amazing. You are so curious and beautiful and smart. Sometimes when you're sleeping I can't help but stare at you and imagine the amazing woman you will become. I pray that you will grow to be confident and kind. That your heart will be pure and your smile continues to be infectious. I pray that you will know success and you fight for your dreams. I pray that you love fiercely and loyally. That your spirit grows exponentially. But most of all, I pray that you know and feel how deeply you are loved. Because you are sweet girl, more than you could ever imagine. I love you my precious baby. Always. 

Happy Birthday. 

Love, Mama

Happy Birthday My Boy

My sweet boy, how did we get here? How is it that it's been three years already? It seems like it was just yesterday that I was holding you in my arms for the first time. Your perfect head covered in fuzzy dark hair. And now, you're a little boy. In the blink of an eye you became three years old. 

I love you at this age! You are so funny and smart and curious. You are stubborn and strong willed and independent. You are gentle and kind and full of love. You are such a perfect mix of everything good. 

This year has been a special one. We got to experience you in your most important role yet, big brother. You have far surpassed my hopes and expectations. You are so amazing with your sister. I love how you are so gentle and sweet. I love how you constantly call her "my darling" and "pretty girl". I love how you're always trying to make her laugh. I love how fiercely protective you are and how easily you love her. Thank you for being such an awesome big brother to our baby Poppy. 

Sometimes I have trouble remembering what it was like before I was a mom, and I am SO okay with that because I get to be YOUR mom! I get to call you my baby. I get to hug you and cuddle you. I get to sing to you until you fall asleep at night. I get to be woken up by your sweet voice every morning. I get to hear your hilarious stories and watch your amazing creativity come to life when you play. I get to teach you and watch you become the most amazing little person. 

You amaze us every single day. And I cannot get enough of you. You are such a tremendous blessing in our life, Finn. Thank you for being mine. Happy Birthday.

I love you my boy, always. 

Love Mama

 

Happy Birthday Finn!

My sweet little mama's boy! How fast these past two years went! I can't believe what a tiny little man you've become right before our eyes! It's funny now to look at you and wonder how on earth you haven't been part of my life longer, but the truth is I think you have always been a part of my life. It's fitting that you were born in December as you truly are the sweetest gift.

When I was a little girl I always knew I wanted to be a Mom, when I found out I was pregnant I loved you immediately. You were a part of me, you were my sweet baby. I didn't think my heart could possibly be filled with anymore love. And then you were born. I remember staring at you in absolute awe. You were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I could not believe you were mine. You were my baby. I love you sweet boy, I love you so much that at times it hurts.

I am so proud of who you are. You are hilarious, you make us laugh every single day.  I love how you are so sweetly mischievous. I love how you have such a distinct personality already at the tender age of two. I love how you are a tiny clone of your Daddy. I love how you grab my hand and say "I love you Mama!" My heart almost explodes. You are such a perfect mix of tiny rambunctious toddler and gentle old spirit. I cannot wait to see what your beautiful life has in store for you.

I hope so many good things for you. I pray that you always know happiness, that you follow your dreams and continue to have that sparkle in your beautiful blue eyes. I pray that your sweet spirit continues to grow and you thrive in life. But most of all I pray that you know and feel just how much you are truly loved. You are so very precious to me and I couldn't imagine my life without you.

Thank you for being my sweet angel baby. Thank you for making me a Mom. The truth is baby, the second you were born, I became who I was supposed to be. I love you Finn. Happy Birthday.

Love, Mama

where did my baby go?

It is becoming more and more apparent everyday that my sweet little baby is quickly turning into my sweet, rambunctious little boy. This is a bittersweet realization for me, as I'm sure it is for most parents.
When Finn was born I couldn't help but think of all the fun things we could do when he was older and all of the things we would teach him. Now that he is older, sometimes I just want that tiny, fuzzy little furnace back. Although I would pay big to have him teeny tiny again (so he will sit still when I maul him with kisses like he used to) I absolutely adore the age that he is at right now! He is the funniest, most curious, fearless little thing I have ever seen.

Here are just a few things the Finnster has been up to lately:

• He constantly has little conversations with himself in his own tiny man language and expects everyone to know exactly what he is saying and you should fully expect to hear it from him if you don't respond.
• He will NOT touch snow. I tried to get him to eat it and he outright refuses. I know parents are supposed to be against that kind of thing but every kid has to do it right?
• He is the ultimate master of destroying a clean space. I'm serious, 30 seconds is all this kid needs. I will be surprised if he does not grow up to work on a one man wrecking crew 
• If and when he falls down he will proceed to tell you about it and make sure you know. At least 20 times.
• He is currently obsessed with coins and keeps safe guard over is "moneys".
• My baby is a major Mammas boy and I love it. He has recently started calling me Mommy instead of Mamma. It is the cutest thing in the world.

Our sweet boy is such an amazing, fun, happy blessing and we could not be more in love with him! 

Heres to hoping he stays little forever.

he doesn't care.

I suppose if you were a fly on the wall in my house you would see that there is a lot going on around here. Some of it for the heavy hearted, some of it exciting and good.

You would see my sweet boy running around, leaving a path of destruction behind him and then stop and stare at something in complete wonder as if he's never seen it before.

And there I am, running after him, hair a mess, as I mentally add things to my continuously growing to do list.

I am standing at the sink now, quickly washing the dishes as he is pulling at my pant leg. And I tell him "Just a minute baby, I'm almost finished"

And then I realize, he doesn't care. He doesn't care that there are dishes to wash or laundry to fold. He just wants his Mamma.

And at night as the day winds down and the house is quiet, I rock my sweet baby to sleep. As I wade through toys I can feel his head growing heavy against my chest as he relaxes into me, I can hear the sweet sounds of his breathing getting deeper and I feel as if I might actually burst, having to contain this love.

If you were a fly on the wall in my home, you would see that right now, this is all that matters. Just this.

About Time

February? Seriously? That was when I posted last? That is ridiculously lazy of me.
To make up for it (if anyone even reads this) here is an assortment of the last 9 1/2 months in pictures.

Brace yourself.  The level of cuteness in this post is about to skyrocket.

Excuse the lack of order. I promise we don't have a Benjamin Button baby. He doesn't age backwards.

P.S. If you're in adorable overload right now, I warned you.