Happy Birthday, Sweet Boy

My sweet boy, you're four years old today! I can't believe I'm saying that already. I would be lying if I said it didn't make me a little sad that you're growing up so fast. 

I was looking at pictures the other day. When you were so tiny and new. When you were so fresh from heaven and I didn't know how in the world I ever lived without you, I still don't. I think I forget how little you are sometimes. Too often I expect you to be "big". I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry that I don't realize that you're still learning or that you are such a little boy still. You just seem so much older than you are! I hear it all the time. People are always amazed when I tell them how old you are. I love that. I love watching you think. I love watching you work through problems or discovering new ways of doing things. I love the way your eyes light up when you come to a realization. You amaze me every single day. You are amazing Finn.

I dream sometimes, of the amazing man you'll become one day. I want you to know that you can do anything in this world you want to do. Anything. And you will. You changed my life in an instant, I can't wait to see the many others you'll change! 

As much as I wish time would slow down, I am also excited. Exactatic really. You're 4 years old today. That means that you've been mine for 4 years. I've been blessed to see you're sweet face, to know your voice, to be you're blessed mama for four years. Do you have any idea how insanely lucky I am? To be your mom is the best feeling in the world!

There is so much I want to say to you, but mostly I want to thank you my sweet baby. Thank you for everything that you are. Thank you for the laughter and love that fills our home. Thank you for the early mornings and the late nights. Thank you for your squeeze hugs and the many "I love you"s that I'm blessed to hear. Thank you for loving so deeply. Thank you for constantly showing me what this life is truly about. Thank you for the immesurable, terrifying, hilarious, powerful, precious blessing of being YOUR mama. Thank you for being mine. 

Happy Birthday Sweet Boy. 

I love you, Always. 

Love Mama

Happy Birthday Poppy Gene!

My sweet Poppy girl, I can't believe that we're here already. You are a year old today. How is that possible? One year ago I saw your beautiful face for the first time. One year ago I fell in love again in an instant. 

We waited a very long time for you, sweet girl. I prayed for you. I prayed so hard for you every single day. And month after month when you weren't there I cried. I cried and prayed for you for a year and a half and then one day you were there and I cried and prayed even harder. 

It's funny to me now, how you've always done things on your own time. You came to us a week early, when no one was expecting it. You came so quickly and so suddenly, we could hardly believe our luck. You were so intensely perfect! Your daddy was the first one to hold you and I remember that moment so clearly. You were with us for a matter of seconds but you already fit so well into his arms, into our family that it was amazing to me how we ever lived without you. 

My precious girl, you are so amazing. You are so curious and beautiful and smart. Sometimes when you're sleeping I can't help but stare at you and imagine the amazing woman you will become. I pray that you will grow to be confident and kind. That your heart will be pure and your smile continues to be infectious. I pray that you will know success and you fight for your dreams. I pray that you love fiercely and loyally. That your spirit grows exponentially. But most of all, I pray that you know and feel how deeply you are loved. Because you are sweet girl, more than you could ever imagine. I love you my precious baby. Always. 

Happy Birthday. 

Love, Mama